Archive for May, 2010

Posted in Uncategorized on May 12, 2010 by wimpyvampire

Chloe is reading a book about animals, so I shall pretend I’m interested in them, even though the truth of the matter is
that I hate them because they freak out if I go anywhere near them.


Posted in Uncategorized on May 11, 2010 by wimpyvampire

All that happens to humans when vampires suck their blood is they’re mesmerized, drained of a couple of pints of blood, left feeling a bit woozy and have to take a couple of days off work. When you think about it, vampires are no more evil than a case of flu.

Posted in Uncategorized on May 6, 2010 by wimpyvampire

Annoying things about my sister Part One Million: she’s
decided that she wants to drink animal blood rather than
human blood from now on. She says she’s doing this for
‘ethical reasons’.

Posted in Uncategorized on May 5, 2010 by wimpyvampire

It happened again today!!  I was getting bored listening to Mr Morris droning on about the Second World War, so I looked over at Chloe. As I focused on her, I began to hear the sound of blood pumping around her veins and I thought about what a wonderful relief it would be if I could pierce her jugular vein and have a refreshing sip. Then I ran my tongue across my teeth and I realized that my fangs had grown to twice their normal length!
To make the whole situation even more awkward, Mr Morris then accused me of paying no attention, and quizzed me about what he’d been saying. I know all about the Second World War, because I remember it well, but I couldn’t speak in case anyone saw my fangs, so he went nuts at me.

It’s official – even my own body has decided to make things difficult for me now.

Posted in Uncategorized on May 4, 2010 by wimpyvampire

An embarrassing thing happened today. I was sitting behind Chloe in
History, and my fangs extended. When you’re a vampire, your fangs are supposed to grow
longer when you’re about to feed on a human. As I don’t hunt, this doesn’t happen to me very often. But today it
happened when I looked at Chloe, which was quite alarming.